Blue Signs Off

This will be Blue's final post on this blog. Why? Because Blue has big plans, and they do not involve telling all my secret to whoever has stuck me in a virtual world. It's occurred to me that this blog, like everything else around me, is a construct, a fake. It's part of the illusion, and the posts I make are vanishing into the ether. Or....maybe they're being read by my unseen captors. So, no more posting.

I'm going to leave here. Or, at least, leave this city within the illusion. In real life, I guess I'm stuck inside a giant computerized geode, probably hooked up to lots of plugs and electrodes and shit. But I want to break it. I want to find a way out that doesn't involve me dying. And the first step is to figure out how to change things, how to shape the world how I want it. Just like the others did. This is MY idea-world, dammit, and I will make it do what I want!

So I'm going to explore the simulation. Food and money won't be a problem; I tried asking Comet to give me all her money and she passively obeyed. The fake people around me will do whatever I want...including, one hopes, help me with the eventual birth of the thing, the virtual baby, in my belly. I'm scared of how that will go down, but kind of intrigued to. Being mom to a virtual kid? Hmmmm, what a notion. And since it's not real, maybe I won't have to deal with all the shitty aspects of pregnancy.

So....this is Ransom Blue, signing off. I don't know what's going to happen to me. But I will make sure it is on my terms, not the idea-world's. I will win this thing, claim it as my prize. My world. If, by some small chance, someone from the real world is reading this....thank you for sticking with me and believing me enough to keep reading. Beware of lighting.

And if my would-be captors are reading this, know that Blue will fucking destroy you. You chose the wrong hacker to abduct, you greasy turd-clowns. You cannot keep me. You cannot own me. I am going to own you.

Here I fucking come.

--Blue Is Here

What do I do?

I want out of here, out of this fucking fake world. I took a walk today and looked at the streets and buildings around me, trying to spot the cracks, the backdrops and stage lights, any sign at all that it was fake. There were no signs at all. And yet, the knowledge that it's a virtual world weighs me down hard.

I don't get it. How come the other virtual worlds I visited were so fantastical and mine just looks like boring, everyday Earth? I never got a chance to talk much about the first world, but it was beautiful. The entire world was a vast hole, endlessly deep and miles across, with a maze of streets and promenades running up the sides. Everything ornate and intricately designed, Gothic and dreamlike. It was the work of someone whose imagination was limitless. And Arkenesia may have been an unoriginal mish-mash of nerdy archetypes, but it was still a fantasy realm.

My own idea-world, my virtual prison is just....lame. A copypasting of what I'd be seeing anyway.

I wonder....

Can I make changes? Can I shape this place to my own whim? And if so, how?

Blue Under a Lens?

Yeah, now I know for sure. The world around me, the world I thought was real, isn't. It's another false world, an idea-world, just like the now-dead one I've been exploring. It was Comet who drove the final nail in my coffin. I decided to tell her everything: the lightning story, my discovery and exploration of two separate idea-worlds, everything. I sat her town and spilled my guts, told her everything. And you know what she did? She told me how she totally sympathized with all the stuff I was going through, and asked me if I wanted more tea.

Fuck, why didn't I realize? I've always been so bad at reading people...now I can't even tell when they're not real people any more. This isn't Comet, it's a fucking virtual dummy of her. It acts like her, all wise and comforting, like I always think of her. I've been too holed up in my own little brain to notice that this "Comet" is two-dimensional, an archetype, not a real person.

I'm in a simulation that was created using my own memories; that's the best I can figure. When did it start? When did I enter into my own idea-world?

The lightning. Had to be. I was struck by lightning, knocked out, and woke up without a damn scratch on my body. And that was when all the weirdness started. I thought the lightning somehow opened my mind to some new wavelength that allowed me to perceive the idea-worlds. But it goes beyond that. I was....taken somewhere after the lightning hit me. Moved from the real-real world to this fake-real world. Into the simulation.

Abducted.

Fuck....I always kinda wanted to believe in aliens, but not like this. Am I being watched by little green men right now? Or is this some sick government experiment using advanced technology that's never been revealed to the public. Who's on the other side of the great one-way glass somewhere in the sky, peering down at poor little Ransom Blue as she runs around in little virtual worlds like a fucking video game drone?

This is messed up. I can't trust anything; it's all fake. Even my Church, my precious hacker hardware, is part of the virtual world.

I'm trapped. With a virtual baby growing in me.

Oh God.

I've been trying to figure out how I can pregnant when the "father" is a virtual creature. Why the "baby" wouldn't just disappear when I returned to my own world, the real world.

There is an explanation, one I didn't even consider. Or maybe I didn't want to think about it. But now...

It's happened too many times now to be a hallucination. I saw it for the first time early this morning, and it's happened a few more times during the day. The flickers. The moment when the virtual world seems to skip or jitter like a bad videotape. I saw it happen in Nerdvana, and the idea-world before that. It was how I knew they were virtual.

Now it's happening here too. I haven't left Comet's apartment all day, but I'm seeing it. The flickers. In the real world.




It's not the real world.

It's another simulation.