This will be Blue's final post on this blog. Why? Because Blue has big plans, and they do not involve telling all my secret to whoever has stuck me in a virtual world. It's occurred to me that this blog, like everything else around me, is a construct, a fake. It's part of the illusion, and the posts I make are vanishing into the ether. Or....maybe they're being read by my unseen captors. So, no more posting.
I'm going to leave here. Or, at least, leave this city within the illusion. In real life, I guess I'm stuck inside a giant computerized geode, probably hooked up to lots of plugs and electrodes and shit. But I want to break it. I want to find a way out that doesn't involve me dying. And the first step is to figure out how to change things, how to shape the world how I want it. Just like the others did. This is MY idea-world, dammit, and I will make it do what I want!
So I'm going to explore the simulation. Food and money won't be a problem; I tried asking Comet to give me all her money and she passively obeyed. The fake people around me will do whatever I want...including, one hopes, help me with the eventual birth of the thing, the virtual baby, in my belly. I'm scared of how that will go down, but kind of intrigued to. Being mom to a virtual kid? Hmmmm, what a notion. And since it's not real, maybe I won't have to deal with all the shitty aspects of pregnancy.
So....this is Ransom Blue, signing off. I don't know what's going to happen to me. But I will make sure it is on my terms, not the idea-world's. I will win this thing, claim it as my prize. My world. If, by some small chance, someone from the real world is reading this....thank you for sticking with me and believing me enough to keep reading. Beware of lighting.
And if my would-be captors are reading this, know that Blue will fucking destroy you. You chose the wrong hacker to abduct, you greasy turd-clowns. You cannot keep me. You cannot own me. I am going to own you.
Here I fucking come.
--Blue Is Here
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
What do I do?
I want out of here, out of this fucking fake world. I took a walk today and looked at the streets and buildings around me, trying to spot the cracks, the backdrops and stage lights, any sign at all that it was fake. There were no signs at all. And yet, the knowledge that it's a virtual world weighs me down hard.
I don't get it. How come the other virtual worlds I visited were so fantastical and mine just looks like boring, everyday Earth? I never got a chance to talk much about the first world, but it was beautiful. The entire world was a vast hole, endlessly deep and miles across, with a maze of streets and promenades running up the sides. Everything ornate and intricately designed, Gothic and dreamlike. It was the work of someone whose imagination was limitless. And Arkenesia may have been an unoriginal mish-mash of nerdy archetypes, but it was still a fantasy realm.
My own idea-world, my virtual prison is just....lame. A copypasting of what I'd be seeing anyway.
I wonder....
Can I make changes? Can I shape this place to my own whim? And if so, how?
I want out of here, out of this fucking fake world. I took a walk today and looked at the streets and buildings around me, trying to spot the cracks, the backdrops and stage lights, any sign at all that it was fake. There were no signs at all. And yet, the knowledge that it's a virtual world weighs me down hard.
I don't get it. How come the other virtual worlds I visited were so fantastical and mine just looks like boring, everyday Earth? I never got a chance to talk much about the first world, but it was beautiful. The entire world was a vast hole, endlessly deep and miles across, with a maze of streets and promenades running up the sides. Everything ornate and intricately designed, Gothic and dreamlike. It was the work of someone whose imagination was limitless. And Arkenesia may have been an unoriginal mish-mash of nerdy archetypes, but it was still a fantasy realm.
My own idea-world, my virtual prison is just....lame. A copypasting of what I'd be seeing anyway.
I wonder....
Can I make changes? Can I shape this place to my own whim? And if so, how?
Monday, May 3, 2010
Blue Under a Lens?
Yeah, now I know for sure. The world around me, the world I thought was real, isn't. It's another false world, an idea-world, just like the now-dead one I've been exploring. It was Comet who drove the final nail in my coffin. I decided to tell her everything: the lightning story, my discovery and exploration of two separate idea-worlds, everything. I sat her town and spilled my guts, told her everything. And you know what she did? She told me how she totally sympathized with all the stuff I was going through, and asked me if I wanted more tea.
Fuck, why didn't I realize? I've always been so bad at reading people...now I can't even tell when they're not real people any more. This isn't Comet, it's a fucking virtual dummy of her. It acts like her, all wise and comforting, like I always think of her. I've been too holed up in my own little brain to notice that this "Comet" is two-dimensional, an archetype, not a real person.
I'm in a simulation that was created using my own memories; that's the best I can figure. When did it start? When did I enter into my own idea-world?
The lightning. Had to be. I was struck by lightning, knocked out, and woke up without a damn scratch on my body. And that was when all the weirdness started. I thought the lightning somehow opened my mind to some new wavelength that allowed me to perceive the idea-worlds. But it goes beyond that. I was....taken somewhere after the lightning hit me. Moved from the real-real world to this fake-real world. Into the simulation.
Abducted.
Fuck....I always kinda wanted to believe in aliens, but not like this. Am I being watched by little green men right now? Or is this some sick government experiment using advanced technology that's never been revealed to the public. Who's on the other side of the great one-way glass somewhere in the sky, peering down at poor little Ransom Blue as she runs around in little virtual worlds like a fucking video game drone?
This is messed up. I can't trust anything; it's all fake. Even my Church, my precious hacker hardware, is part of the virtual world.
I'm trapped. With a virtual baby growing in me.
Fuck, why didn't I realize? I've always been so bad at reading people...now I can't even tell when they're not real people any more. This isn't Comet, it's a fucking virtual dummy of her. It acts like her, all wise and comforting, like I always think of her. I've been too holed up in my own little brain to notice that this "Comet" is two-dimensional, an archetype, not a real person.
I'm in a simulation that was created using my own memories; that's the best I can figure. When did it start? When did I enter into my own idea-world?
The lightning. Had to be. I was struck by lightning, knocked out, and woke up without a damn scratch on my body. And that was when all the weirdness started. I thought the lightning somehow opened my mind to some new wavelength that allowed me to perceive the idea-worlds. But it goes beyond that. I was....taken somewhere after the lightning hit me. Moved from the real-real world to this fake-real world. Into the simulation.
Abducted.
Fuck....I always kinda wanted to believe in aliens, but not like this. Am I being watched by little green men right now? Or is this some sick government experiment using advanced technology that's never been revealed to the public. Who's on the other side of the great one-way glass somewhere in the sky, peering down at poor little Ransom Blue as she runs around in little virtual worlds like a fucking video game drone?
This is messed up. I can't trust anything; it's all fake. Even my Church, my precious hacker hardware, is part of the virtual world.
I'm trapped. With a virtual baby growing in me.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Oh God.
I've been trying to figure out how I can pregnant when the "father" is a virtual creature. Why the "baby" wouldn't just disappear when I returned to my own world, the real world.
There is an explanation, one I didn't even consider. Or maybe I didn't want to think about it. But now...
It's happened too many times now to be a hallucination. I saw it for the first time early this morning, and it's happened a few more times during the day. The flickers. The moment when the virtual world seems to skip or jitter like a bad videotape. I saw it happen in Nerdvana, and the idea-world before that. It was how I knew they were virtual.
Now it's happening here too. I haven't left Comet's apartment all day, but I'm seeing it. The flickers. In the real world.
It's not the real world.
It's another simulation.
I've been trying to figure out how I can pregnant when the "father" is a virtual creature. Why the "baby" wouldn't just disappear when I returned to my own world, the real world.
There is an explanation, one I didn't even consider. Or maybe I didn't want to think about it. But now...
It's happened too many times now to be a hallucination. I saw it for the first time early this morning, and it's happened a few more times during the day. The flickers. The moment when the virtual world seems to skip or jitter like a bad videotape. I saw it happen in Nerdvana, and the idea-world before that. It was how I knew they were virtual.
Now it's happening here too. I haven't left Comet's apartment all day, but I'm seeing it. The flickers. In the real world.
It's not the real world.
It's another simulation.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
World's End
Well, it's gone. The idea-world is gone, and it's not coming back. The man who created it is dead. I saw his body, and there was no way I could've been mistaken.
I think I understand a little more now, at least about the nature of the idea-worlds. As I've always assumed, they are simulations, elaborate and impossibly real, but still only virtual. Which still does not explain how I can be pregnant if I never had sex with anyone real. Yeah, that's still a mystery....
If I seem lucid, it's because I'm high. I would probably be screaming and freaking out otherwise.
When I plugged in and returned to the idea-world, I did not find myself in the city with its glass buildings and giant ferns. There were no ram-people strolling around. Instead, I was surrounded by jagged crystals and spires, like obsidian, stretching away from me and above me, pointing at me from every direction. I recognized the vision: I'd caught a tiny glimpse of it once before. This time, I could see it clearly. I seemed to be inside a giant orb, the inside of which was lined with these jagged shards. And within the fused glass of the crystals, I made out millions of tiny lights, lights in every color of the rainbow, blinking and flickering. Like my own computer hardware. Like my Church.
I was in someone else's Church.
I was terrified, afraid of being sliced up by the shards or being unable to pull away, to return to my own real world. I didn't move, just stood and looked around. It wasn't long before I spotted the one feature breaking up the spherical landscape. He lay about a hundred yards off, body wedged in between the glassy shards and streaked with dried blood, skin like a fish's belly. I couldn't see his face, but I recognized him anyway. It was the creator of the idea-world, dead. I could not see how he'd died; there was blood but no obvious wounds. But he was dead. I watched him for a few minutes to be sure.
Eventually, I disconnected and returned to the comfort of my Church, hidden away in the old Masonic building. I was shaken and confused.....but strangely relieved. The idea-world is gone. How can it still exist, with its creator dead?
Those giant shards were computers, I think. A type of computer than was not built by any human I know of. But if they were silicon-based crystals, and if you had the proper degree of technology...yeah. I was looking at some sort of fantasical server farm. Hardware. Most certainly the hardware that generated the virtual world of Arkenesia. Someone built it, then took this random dude and stuck him in the middle of it, let his own mind create a world which the computer-shards then built as a highly realistic virtual environment. One that changed and become more complex over time, at his whim.
Like it was all some huge experiment.
I'm refusing to think about the implications right now. I'm back at Comet's place, drinking from her endless supply of tea. Soon enough I'll dwell on this information, and what I should do next. For now, I choose the calming influence of pot and herbal tea. All I feel now is nervous relief, but I fear the withdrawal symptoms may show up soon....
--Blue's Still Here
I think I understand a little more now, at least about the nature of the idea-worlds. As I've always assumed, they are simulations, elaborate and impossibly real, but still only virtual. Which still does not explain how I can be pregnant if I never had sex with anyone real. Yeah, that's still a mystery....
If I seem lucid, it's because I'm high. I would probably be screaming and freaking out otherwise.
When I plugged in and returned to the idea-world, I did not find myself in the city with its glass buildings and giant ferns. There were no ram-people strolling around. Instead, I was surrounded by jagged crystals and spires, like obsidian, stretching away from me and above me, pointing at me from every direction. I recognized the vision: I'd caught a tiny glimpse of it once before. This time, I could see it clearly. I seemed to be inside a giant orb, the inside of which was lined with these jagged shards. And within the fused glass of the crystals, I made out millions of tiny lights, lights in every color of the rainbow, blinking and flickering. Like my own computer hardware. Like my Church.
I was in someone else's Church.
I was terrified, afraid of being sliced up by the shards or being unable to pull away, to return to my own real world. I didn't move, just stood and looked around. It wasn't long before I spotted the one feature breaking up the spherical landscape. He lay about a hundred yards off, body wedged in between the glassy shards and streaked with dried blood, skin like a fish's belly. I couldn't see his face, but I recognized him anyway. It was the creator of the idea-world, dead. I could not see how he'd died; there was blood but no obvious wounds. But he was dead. I watched him for a few minutes to be sure.
Eventually, I disconnected and returned to the comfort of my Church, hidden away in the old Masonic building. I was shaken and confused.....but strangely relieved. The idea-world is gone. How can it still exist, with its creator dead?
Those giant shards were computers, I think. A type of computer than was not built by any human I know of. But if they were silicon-based crystals, and if you had the proper degree of technology...yeah. I was looking at some sort of fantasical server farm. Hardware. Most certainly the hardware that generated the virtual world of Arkenesia. Someone built it, then took this random dude and stuck him in the middle of it, let his own mind create a world which the computer-shards then built as a highly realistic virtual environment. One that changed and become more complex over time, at his whim.
Like it was all some huge experiment.
I'm refusing to think about the implications right now. I'm back at Comet's place, drinking from her endless supply of tea. Soon enough I'll dwell on this information, and what I should do next. For now, I choose the calming influence of pot and herbal tea. All I feel now is nervous relief, but I fear the withdrawal symptoms may show up soon....
--Blue's Still Here
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Blue's Last Stand?
I'm going to go back in tonight. I've made up my mind.
I'm going to return to my Church and then I'm going to go back into the idea-world, Arkenesia, Nerdvana, whatever you choose to call it. I'm going to find the creator of the world and confront him, admit to him what I've been doing and that I'm pregnant. I have to.
I got myself into this mess and I need to own up. As beautiful and enticing as the idea-world is, I've admitted to myself that it's also dangerous. I barely know anything about it. What is it, dream or hallucination or simulation? How did it come into existence? How did my getting struck be lighting allow me to see these worlds? I don't know. I have never known. And me being pregant, that's another thing I don't know anything about.
If I can get pregnant in the idea-world, I can get killed as well. Just like a drug addict goes so deeply into the drug that they destroy themselves, I will go so deep into this unreal world that I wind up cold and stiff, dead with a dead baby inside me.
This will probably be the last time I visit the idea-world. Even if the creator doesn't kick me out, I have to force myself to cut it off, to never come back.
Stay tuned.
I'm going to return to my Church and then I'm going to go back into the idea-world, Arkenesia, Nerdvana, whatever you choose to call it. I'm going to find the creator of the world and confront him, admit to him what I've been doing and that I'm pregnant. I have to.
I got myself into this mess and I need to own up. As beautiful and enticing as the idea-world is, I've admitted to myself that it's also dangerous. I barely know anything about it. What is it, dream or hallucination or simulation? How did it come into existence? How did my getting struck be lighting allow me to see these worlds? I don't know. I have never known. And me being pregant, that's another thing I don't know anything about.
If I can get pregnant in the idea-world, I can get killed as well. Just like a drug addict goes so deeply into the drug that they destroy themselves, I will go so deep into this unreal world that I wind up cold and stiff, dead with a dead baby inside me.
This will probably be the last time I visit the idea-world. Even if the creator doesn't kick me out, I have to force myself to cut it off, to never come back.
Stay tuned.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Should I go back in?
I've been back to my Church to check all my hardware. It's fine; everything is still running. I could plug in and go back into Nerdvana whenever I wanted. But I'm scared to. I'm pregnant with the baby of a virtual person; how can I look at the ram-people? Hell, I don't even know who the father is. I didn't exactly single out any of them for my sexual experiments. Was it the first one I tried? How will I find him?
I had a creepy-ass idea that I don't even want to think about too much. A possible, horrific explanation for how I could be pregnant. As far as I know, there's only one other real person in the idea-world: the man who generated it. The creator. He's real. And I'm quite sure that's he's been screwing his creations left and right. What if the program somehow absorbed his you-know-what and kept it preserved, maybe in the form of code? And then, when I did some screwing with my own, what if his seed, as it were, was implanted into me? What if it's HIS kid?
Please let that not be the case. I can't talk to him, can't let him see me. How would I ever explain myself? "Hi, I've been hanging out in your virtual world, just because I enjoy it. I've also been fucking your virtual people. Yeah, they're fun to fuck, aren't they? We've both done plenty of that, right? And that's why I'm now carrying your kid."
Awwwwwkward.
I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just peek, just take a quick look into the idea-world to see if everything is the same. I'm assuming it is. And I want to go back, like any addict wants to go back. I'm scared, but I want to be in that other world again so badly....
I've been back to my Church to check all my hardware. It's fine; everything is still running. I could plug in and go back into Nerdvana whenever I wanted. But I'm scared to. I'm pregnant with the baby of a virtual person; how can I look at the ram-people? Hell, I don't even know who the father is. I didn't exactly single out any of them for my sexual experiments. Was it the first one I tried? How will I find him?
I had a creepy-ass idea that I don't even want to think about too much. A possible, horrific explanation for how I could be pregnant. As far as I know, there's only one other real person in the idea-world: the man who generated it. The creator. He's real. And I'm quite sure that's he's been screwing his creations left and right. What if the program somehow absorbed his you-know-what and kept it preserved, maybe in the form of code? And then, when I did some screwing with my own, what if his seed, as it were, was implanted into me? What if it's HIS kid?
Please let that not be the case. I can't talk to him, can't let him see me. How would I ever explain myself? "Hi, I've been hanging out in your virtual world, just because I enjoy it. I've also been fucking your virtual people. Yeah, they're fun to fuck, aren't they? We've both done plenty of that, right? And that's why I'm now carrying your kid."
Awwwwwkward.
I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just peek, just take a quick look into the idea-world to see if everything is the same. I'm assuming it is. And I want to go back, like any addict wants to go back. I'm scared, but I want to be in that other world again so badly....
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Addiction
Hi. I'd almost forgot about this blog. I've been kind of......busy? Well, busy in a life-destroying kind of way.
I'm trying to quit. Trying to pull out of the idea-world. Because I got addicted. It's a drug, it really is. Blue knows drugs, but Blue does not know addiction. You can't know addiction, no one can. It's unknowable. Like Brahmin. Only more head-explodey.
I've been away from my Church, from the idea-world. Holed up at Comet's place, letting her fuss over me. I've kind of been a wreck. I went in too far. God, I went in too fucking far. I crossed lines I should not have crossed. The idea-world, so unreal, so lovely in its shiny, artificial way. A drug for the senses, that's all it is. I can't believe I got in so deep!
You're going to think I'm such a whore. But after my last post, I started really trying to communicate with the fake natives, the ram-people. They're sheep, of course...no personalities, no nothing, just gorgeous, androgynous looks. But that means they're totally passive and will do whatever you want. Tug them here, order them there. They obey. They're empty vessels needing a real person to fill them. And I filled them. Yeah, I filled them.
Yeah. I did it. It sprung from pure curiosity, a fleeting urge to know what the ram-people looked like under their clothes. Turned out they definitely had human parts, and even though you can't easily tell when they're clothed, they do come in male and female versions. So I......took advantage. It wasn't rape, okay? They're not real! They're just part of the unknown code that makes up the idea-world! And besides, they never resisted. In fact, they really got into the swing of things. The creator of the world must have made them that way...I picture him hosting huge orgies. Pervert.
Heh, yeah. Pot calling the kettle black. I thought it was harmless! It was good sex, and I told myself it meant nothing. But that was just me justifying myself. One thing an addict can always do is justify....and justify....until something happens that you can't shrug off.
I'm pregnant.
And it's real. Not just a phantom, artificial fetus in the idea-world. I'm pregnant in the real world too. I don't know how this happened. Yeah, I've had a fuckton of unprotected sex in the last month, but again, it was with people who AREN'T REAL. Oh, God, what if they are? What if the idea-world has always been real? I thought it was some kind of simulation, but....
Fuck.
You probably thought I was a guy, didn't you? Well, fuck you, Blue does not recall ever disclosing her gender, not explicitly. I hate having to admit to it....no, I don't hate being a woman, but I do enjoy the anonymity of the hacker. People assume I'm male. But now....
Comet still doesn't know. I've told her I had a one-night stand with some dude. She's playing the nursemaid, skirting around the issue of what the fucking fuck I'm going to do now. Abort it? Keep it? Is it even real? Am I going to give birth to a stream of code, ones and zeros streaming from my vagina like some hentai nightmare? Jesus.
I'm scared.
I'm trying to quit. Trying to pull out of the idea-world. Because I got addicted. It's a drug, it really is. Blue knows drugs, but Blue does not know addiction. You can't know addiction, no one can. It's unknowable. Like Brahmin. Only more head-explodey.
I've been away from my Church, from the idea-world. Holed up at Comet's place, letting her fuss over me. I've kind of been a wreck. I went in too far. God, I went in too fucking far. I crossed lines I should not have crossed. The idea-world, so unreal, so lovely in its shiny, artificial way. A drug for the senses, that's all it is. I can't believe I got in so deep!
You're going to think I'm such a whore. But after my last post, I started really trying to communicate with the fake natives, the ram-people. They're sheep, of course...no personalities, no nothing, just gorgeous, androgynous looks. But that means they're totally passive and will do whatever you want. Tug them here, order them there. They obey. They're empty vessels needing a real person to fill them. And I filled them. Yeah, I filled them.
Yeah. I did it. It sprung from pure curiosity, a fleeting urge to know what the ram-people looked like under their clothes. Turned out they definitely had human parts, and even though you can't easily tell when they're clothed, they do come in male and female versions. So I......took advantage. It wasn't rape, okay? They're not real! They're just part of the unknown code that makes up the idea-world! And besides, they never resisted. In fact, they really got into the swing of things. The creator of the world must have made them that way...I picture him hosting huge orgies. Pervert.
Heh, yeah. Pot calling the kettle black. I thought it was harmless! It was good sex, and I told myself it meant nothing. But that was just me justifying myself. One thing an addict can always do is justify....and justify....until something happens that you can't shrug off.
I'm pregnant.
And it's real. Not just a phantom, artificial fetus in the idea-world. I'm pregnant in the real world too. I don't know how this happened. Yeah, I've had a fuckton of unprotected sex in the last month, but again, it was with people who AREN'T REAL. Oh, God, what if they are? What if the idea-world has always been real? I thought it was some kind of simulation, but....
Fuck.
You probably thought I was a guy, didn't you? Well, fuck you, Blue does not recall ever disclosing her gender, not explicitly. I hate having to admit to it....no, I don't hate being a woman, but I do enjoy the anonymity of the hacker. People assume I'm male. But now....
Comet still doesn't know. I've told her I had a one-night stand with some dude. She's playing the nursemaid, skirting around the issue of what the fucking fuck I'm going to do now. Abort it? Keep it? Is it even real? Am I going to give birth to a stream of code, ones and zeros streaming from my vagina like some hentai nightmare? Jesus.
I'm scared.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Blue's Forays into a Bizarro Social Life
Two noteworthy things to report. Well, three. I've moved my Church completely into the city. Yessireebob, Blue is all set up and established in this new locale! I'm in a public space, but as I said earlier, the ram-people seem incapable of anger or agitation; they wait around to use the terminal, and when I don't budge, they leave. The sight of me, and of my little HQ, does not move them at all. They're part of the program, part of the idea-world. Pretty mobile screensavers.
So that doesn't count as noteworthy, not so much as what I'm about to report.
I have seen the Creator. The dude who dreamt up this place, or programmed it, or whatever. I decided that I had to see him, despite the risk. I wanted to see the face behind Nerdvana. Don't worry, I was not reckless; I planned things out, came up with things to do in case something went all wrong. Worst-case scenario, he would see me and see that I was OTHER, an outsider. If that happened....I would run. Disconnect. Force myself to go awhile without access to Nerdvana, then make careful approaches to return, see if the coast was clear.
He did not see me. I cautiously followed the signs, looked for the increasing real-ness of the world that gave away his position. I found him in a sunny plaza lined with ferns, floating on some kind of retarded pleasure barge in the midst of a large pool, surrounded by nearly-nude ram-people. He was....well, thankfully, he was not a fat nerdy manchild covered in zits and fried chicken grease. I was prepared for the worst example of humanity that nerd culture had to offer. But no, he just looked....average. Some dude. Late twenties, dark brown hair, weak chin. He wore a T-shirt and swim trunks. He was clearly enjoying himself, basking in the spoilage of the ram-people, who obviously revered him. I watched this man from my hiding place and wondered: how did you make all this? How was the ability to create an idea-world handed to you? And why can't you come up with anything more original than this mishmash of fantasy tropes?
Dunno if Blue was disappointed or relieved. It's nice, I must admit, knowing the face of the person whose world I am squatting in. I never saw the creator of the first idea-world, but I'm sure he (or she) saw me, and booted me from the world.
The second thing of note: I'm thinking about actually trying to interact with the ram-people. It's gotten to the point where I recognize a few of them, individuals who come by my Church regularly. I wonder....can I talk to them? Would they understand English? Are they just blank avatars, or could I make out actual personalities?
I am..... curious. I hope curiosity does not kill the Blue.
--Blue Was Here
So that doesn't count as noteworthy, not so much as what I'm about to report.
I have seen the Creator. The dude who dreamt up this place, or programmed it, or whatever. I decided that I had to see him, despite the risk. I wanted to see the face behind Nerdvana. Don't worry, I was not reckless; I planned things out, came up with things to do in case something went all wrong. Worst-case scenario, he would see me and see that I was OTHER, an outsider. If that happened....I would run. Disconnect. Force myself to go awhile without access to Nerdvana, then make careful approaches to return, see if the coast was clear.
He did not see me. I cautiously followed the signs, looked for the increasing real-ness of the world that gave away his position. I found him in a sunny plaza lined with ferns, floating on some kind of retarded pleasure barge in the midst of a large pool, surrounded by nearly-nude ram-people. He was....well, thankfully, he was not a fat nerdy manchild covered in zits and fried chicken grease. I was prepared for the worst example of humanity that nerd culture had to offer. But no, he just looked....average. Some dude. Late twenties, dark brown hair, weak chin. He wore a T-shirt and swim trunks. He was clearly enjoying himself, basking in the spoilage of the ram-people, who obviously revered him. I watched this man from my hiding place and wondered: how did you make all this? How was the ability to create an idea-world handed to you? And why can't you come up with anything more original than this mishmash of fantasy tropes?
Dunno if Blue was disappointed or relieved. It's nice, I must admit, knowing the face of the person whose world I am squatting in. I never saw the creator of the first idea-world, but I'm sure he (or she) saw me, and booted me from the world.
The second thing of note: I'm thinking about actually trying to interact with the ram-people. It's gotten to the point where I recognize a few of them, individuals who come by my Church regularly. I wonder....can I talk to them? Would they understand English? Are they just blank avatars, or could I make out actual personalities?
I am..... curious. I hope curiosity does not kill the Blue.
--Blue Was Here
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Lightning Story
Not too much to report. Bear with me; this is a long process. I am working on transferring my Church, my hardware, to a location in the glass city. This takes awhile, especially since I must constantly recon to make sure I'm not going to turn a corner and run into the real-world ruler of Nerdvana.
I think it's high time I told you how this whole thing started. How I came to be aware of the idea-worlds. So....drumroll, please...
The Lightning Story
I got struck by lighting. Seriously. I was at the top of a cell phone tower, doing something. It was the middle of the night. The thing I was doing was highly dangerous and illegal, and I was doing it for a high-paying customer. That's all I am at liberty to disclose. Just accept that I was up a cell phone tower when a storm hit. I should've climbed down right away, but I did not because my customer was VERY high-paying.
I don't remember the actual lightning strike, just a very bright light. I came to at the base of the tower, tangled up in my climbing equipment. I was singed and my whole body tingled. I felt nauseous and had to puke right away. The whole tower was fried, and so my iPod. I ran for it before any maintenance people could show up. I guess I'm extremely lucky to have survived; my climbing equipment clearly slowed my fall, but still, I didn't even break any bones. I wasn't even BRUISED.
I spent a couple days recovering via copious marijuana use. For awhile, everything was normal. And then it started: I'd be using my hardware and I'd get these sudden flashes of somewhere else, another world. It only happened when I was plugged in, surrounded by the blinking lights of my Church to Technology. Everything would jitter and I'd see the other world superimposed.
I thought I was tripping, or maybe losing my mind. I decided to investigate the insanity rather than trying to get rid of it with Prozac or something. That's how I gradually discovered that it was real. Another world. And in time, I learned that it was an idea-world, created from someone else's thoughts. Somehow, being struck by lightning had allowed me access.
I'll talk more about that first idea-world later. For now, I've got things to do. And...maybe...people to see. Hint, hint.
--Blue Was Here
I think it's high time I told you how this whole thing started. How I came to be aware of the idea-worlds. So....drumroll, please...
The Lightning Story
I got struck by lighting. Seriously. I was at the top of a cell phone tower, doing something. It was the middle of the night. The thing I was doing was highly dangerous and illegal, and I was doing it for a high-paying customer. That's all I am at liberty to disclose. Just accept that I was up a cell phone tower when a storm hit. I should've climbed down right away, but I did not because my customer was VERY high-paying.
I don't remember the actual lightning strike, just a very bright light. I came to at the base of the tower, tangled up in my climbing equipment. I was singed and my whole body tingled. I felt nauseous and had to puke right away. The whole tower was fried, and so my iPod. I ran for it before any maintenance people could show up. I guess I'm extremely lucky to have survived; my climbing equipment clearly slowed my fall, but still, I didn't even break any bones. I wasn't even BRUISED.
I spent a couple days recovering via copious marijuana use. For awhile, everything was normal. And then it started: I'd be using my hardware and I'd get these sudden flashes of somewhere else, another world. It only happened when I was plugged in, surrounded by the blinking lights of my Church to Technology. Everything would jitter and I'd see the other world superimposed.
I thought I was tripping, or maybe losing my mind. I decided to investigate the insanity rather than trying to get rid of it with Prozac or something. That's how I gradually discovered that it was real. Another world. And in time, I learned that it was an idea-world, created from someone else's thoughts. Somehow, being struck by lightning had allowed me access.
I'll talk more about that first idea-world later. For now, I've got things to do. And...maybe...people to see. Hint, hint.
--Blue Was Here
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Blue in the City
I can explain my long silence. You see, I have been REALLY busy this past week. I've been there, my friends. The glass city. I rode the skyway and I went there. It is amazing in close-up.
I've learned so much! For starters, this idea-world has a name! A really stupid, generic fantasy name! I learned this because in the city, the audio seems to kick in and I can hear what the ram-people are saying. They speak a made-up language that my own audio programs cannot link to any existing tongue, though they suggest it might be Basque, or perhaps ancient Akkadian, or maybe Cherokee. Still, I can recognize speech patterns, and I know what they call their world. It sounds like "Arkenesia."
Blue rejects that name. It is the name an insufferable nerd would give to his self-created Dungeons & Dragons world that he's planning to sell and make lots of money on, even though it's obviously just a mash-up of Lord of the Rings, Mass Effect, and Kingdom Hearts with slightly different names for everything. From now on, I will be calling the world "Nerdvana." I know this is not an original joke, but it's utterly appropriate. This world is beautiful and awe-inspiring, but so....damn.....geeky.
The clockwork computer system runs throughout the city, and there are many stations where I might use it. I plan to set up a new Church in the city itself, because although it's fun to ride the skyway, I'd rather not go there and back every time I want to use my hardware. And as I've said, it gets tiring, acting independently in both worlds at once.
I'll have to be super-careful, because I've lost all doubt that the creator of "Arkenesia" is here in this city. Everything is more vivid here, more real, less virtual postcard and more actual, senses-engaging World with a capital W. The creator will be at the very hub of the realness. And I don't want to meet him, mainly because he (or she, though I'm betting on he) will probably not react well to the sight of another real-life person in his idea-world, and also because I might have to beat him down and make him taste the curb for being such a nerd.
You know what the ram-people use as transportation here in the city? Fucking hoverboards and goddamned flying dinosaurs. Hooray, Dinotopia just knocked up Square-Enix! And, god dammit, I really fucking want one of those hoverboards. REALLY FUCKING WANT ONE.
AAAARGH.
--Blue Was Here
I've learned so much! For starters, this idea-world has a name! A really stupid, generic fantasy name! I learned this because in the city, the audio seems to kick in and I can hear what the ram-people are saying. They speak a made-up language that my own audio programs cannot link to any existing tongue, though they suggest it might be Basque, or perhaps ancient Akkadian, or maybe Cherokee. Still, I can recognize speech patterns, and I know what they call their world. It sounds like "Arkenesia."
Blue rejects that name. It is the name an insufferable nerd would give to his self-created Dungeons & Dragons world that he's planning to sell and make lots of money on, even though it's obviously just a mash-up of Lord of the Rings, Mass Effect, and Kingdom Hearts with slightly different names for everything. From now on, I will be calling the world "Nerdvana." I know this is not an original joke, but it's utterly appropriate. This world is beautiful and awe-inspiring, but so....damn.....geeky.
The clockwork computer system runs throughout the city, and there are many stations where I might use it. I plan to set up a new Church in the city itself, because although it's fun to ride the skyway, I'd rather not go there and back every time I want to use my hardware. And as I've said, it gets tiring, acting independently in both worlds at once.
I'll have to be super-careful, because I've lost all doubt that the creator of "Arkenesia" is here in this city. Everything is more vivid here, more real, less virtual postcard and more actual, senses-engaging World with a capital W. The creator will be at the very hub of the realness. And I don't want to meet him, mainly because he (or she, though I'm betting on he) will probably not react well to the sight of another real-life person in his idea-world, and also because I might have to beat him down and make him taste the curb for being such a nerd.
You know what the ram-people use as transportation here in the city? Fucking hoverboards and goddamned flying dinosaurs. Hooray, Dinotopia just knocked up Square-Enix! And, god dammit, I really fucking want one of those hoverboards. REALLY FUCKING WANT ONE.
AAAARGH.
--Blue Was Here
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Ia Ia Blue Fhtaghn
Cthulhu.
Maybe the Elder Gods are behind all this. Somehow, though, Blue has always pictured anything Elder God-related as existed in a state of such unbridled horribilosity that to even conceive of it would make your eyeballs turn to oatmeal and leak from your skull. Blue's eyeballs are not a breakfast edible.
Blue is very high.
Stay tuned for my thrilling adventures as I RIDE THE SKY-CAR/SKYWALK THING OVER THE OCEAN AND INTO THE CITY OF GLASS, UNDER THE GIANT PALM FRONDS, BLAH BLAH BLAHAAAHHHHH
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Back In Blue Goes
I've been working nonstop to get my boxes back up and running. Damage wasn't as bad as I'd feared. I had to drop some funds on a couple new items, but I know people who can get me stuff in a hurry. Illegally, of course. Cough cough, pretend you didn't hear.
I'm back. I've recovered and I'm back. This time, I went in very cautiously, which turned out to be wise. My entry point, the skyway station, still has people in it. As before, they just ignore me. I was prepared this time, and I've just been studying them as they move here and there, mouths moving in silent speech. They're beautiful, in a Tolkien kind of way. Orange-tinted skin, pale eyes, pale clothes. Most of them have large, curling ram's horns, and sometimes I see one with two sets of horns, one smaller set peeking from beneath the larger. Physically perfect, every one. Typical. I'm more and more convinced that the Idea-World's creator is some kind of nerd. Probably has a whole harem of ram-people.
I was worried because I've been using the clockwork computer here, and since it appears to be for public use...well, now there's a public to use it. However, no one has challenged my using it. People stand around and wait for me to finish, but when I don't, they just wander off after awhile. No one seems angry, stressed, sad, or anything. These people are boring. Pretty, but boring.
I wonder what they see when the look at me.
My guess is that the Idea-World's creator is currently hanging out in the nearby glass city beneath the giant ferns. Part of me wants to go there. I mean, I was gonna anyway once I got the hang of moving independently within each of the two worlds. It's riskier, now that the Creator is apparently there. But if I can keep my head down, keep from being noticed by him or her....because it doesn't matter if any of the ram-people see me. Unless....unless they get more complex the closer I get to the Creator. What if they get complex enough to see I'm different, not from around here?
I'll have to proceed with caution.
The Idea-World is doing the jittery thing again, which freaks me out because it makes me remember the thing I saw right before the people appeared. Guess I should mention that, even though thinking on it still frightens me. All I can do is hope it was some sort of hallucination on my part.
There was this violent jitter, as if the whole Idea was coming unraveled. Everything sort of flicked and spazzed-out, and within a second, all the ram-people appeared around me. But for a heartbeat in the interim, I saw.....a different place. Jagged, black crystals, taller than a human being, growing in strange clumps all around. A place of glistening daggers. What really scared me, what made my heart almost jump out of my chest, was that the black shards were all around me......and above me. Pointing at me from every single direction. As if I were in the razor-sharp heart of a geode.
Jesus, what WAS that I saw?
--Blue Was Here
I'm back. I've recovered and I'm back. This time, I went in very cautiously, which turned out to be wise. My entry point, the skyway station, still has people in it. As before, they just ignore me. I was prepared this time, and I've just been studying them as they move here and there, mouths moving in silent speech. They're beautiful, in a Tolkien kind of way. Orange-tinted skin, pale eyes, pale clothes. Most of them have large, curling ram's horns, and sometimes I see one with two sets of horns, one smaller set peeking from beneath the larger. Physically perfect, every one. Typical. I'm more and more convinced that the Idea-World's creator is some kind of nerd. Probably has a whole harem of ram-people.
I was worried because I've been using the clockwork computer here, and since it appears to be for public use...well, now there's a public to use it. However, no one has challenged my using it. People stand around and wait for me to finish, but when I don't, they just wander off after awhile. No one seems angry, stressed, sad, or anything. These people are boring. Pretty, but boring.
I wonder what they see when the look at me.
My guess is that the Idea-World's creator is currently hanging out in the nearby glass city beneath the giant ferns. Part of me wants to go there. I mean, I was gonna anyway once I got the hang of moving independently within each of the two worlds. It's riskier, now that the Creator is apparently there. But if I can keep my head down, keep from being noticed by him or her....because it doesn't matter if any of the ram-people see me. Unless....unless they get more complex the closer I get to the Creator. What if they get complex enough to see I'm different, not from around here?
I'll have to proceed with caution.
The Idea-World is doing the jittery thing again, which freaks me out because it makes me remember the thing I saw right before the people appeared. Guess I should mention that, even though thinking on it still frightens me. All I can do is hope it was some sort of hallucination on my part.
There was this violent jitter, as if the whole Idea was coming unraveled. Everything sort of flicked and spazzed-out, and within a second, all the ram-people appeared around me. But for a heartbeat in the interim, I saw.....a different place. Jagged, black crystals, taller than a human being, growing in strange clumps all around. A place of glistening daggers. What really scared me, what made my heart almost jump out of my chest, was that the black shards were all around me......and above me. Pointing at me from every single direction. As if I were in the razor-sharp heart of a geode.
Jesus, what WAS that I saw?
--Blue Was Here
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Blue Recovers
Spent the last two days at Comet's place, just taking deep breaths and not doing anything computer-related. Normally I start getting fidgety and irritable when I'm away from my hardware, my Church, for too long. But Comet with her hot herb tea, her shoulder rubs and campy ways, she's a marvel.
Comet. I don't accumulate friends easily, but Comet and I just found each other and stuck like glue. We met in a chat room when I was going through this whole sexual identity crisis that I'm not gonna get into. How awesome to hit it off with someone who lives in the same city. Back then, Comet's name was Miguel and he was a he. For awhile, we were....not really an item, but friends with benefits. When Miguel became Comet, got the surgeries and strapped on the stilettos for good, I just went with it.
I have come to realize that I am basically pansexual. Like, sex for me has to be judged on a person-to-person basis, and gender is seconday. Miguel was my first boy, but Comet was not my first girl.
Now we don't see each other as much, but Comet is always there, a haven draped in sequins. And if she ever needs help, I will be there for her. I don't care if I've penetrated the heart of the Idea-World and met Jesus himself. I will apologize to the Lamb as I unplug and go running to Comet's rescue.
Comet does not know about Blue's adventures. No one does. Some things are beyond even trusted friends. Also, Blue would sound so damn loony.
I'm about ready to go back into the Idea-World. Maybe the people will be gone, erased as the world's creator moves elsewhere. If not, I must be ready for them. But I have done this before.
Sipping tea, eating ginger biscuits, watching old, incredibly racist Loony Tunes. Me and Comet in her warm little box of healing.
--Blue Was Here
Comet. I don't accumulate friends easily, but Comet and I just found each other and stuck like glue. We met in a chat room when I was going through this whole sexual identity crisis that I'm not gonna get into. How awesome to hit it off with someone who lives in the same city. Back then, Comet's name was Miguel and he was a he. For awhile, we were....not really an item, but friends with benefits. When Miguel became Comet, got the surgeries and strapped on the stilettos for good, I just went with it.
I have come to realize that I am basically pansexual. Like, sex for me has to be judged on a person-to-person basis, and gender is seconday. Miguel was my first boy, but Comet was not my first girl.
Now we don't see each other as much, but Comet is always there, a haven draped in sequins. And if she ever needs help, I will be there for her. I don't care if I've penetrated the heart of the Idea-World and met Jesus himself. I will apologize to the Lamb as I unplug and go running to Comet's rescue.
Comet does not know about Blue's adventures. No one does. Some things are beyond even trusted friends. Also, Blue would sound so damn loony.
I'm about ready to go back into the Idea-World. Maybe the people will be gone, erased as the world's creator moves elsewhere. If not, I must be ready for them. But I have done this before.
Sipping tea, eating ginger biscuits, watching old, incredibly racist Loony Tunes. Me and Comet in her warm little box of healing.
--Blue Was Here
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
This is bad. I can't be high right now. This is...this is bad.
I panicked. I panicked and I pulled the plug. Probably did some damage to my hardware, to the connection. But I couldn't help it. It just happened. One minute I was alone in the Idea-World, and the next...
I've been trying to calm down. Not easy, not at all. It was really bad for awhile. I took some Uppers earlier today. Normally I try to avoid that kind of level of substance. I've been getting cocky, and practicing independent movement in the different worlds wears you down. I should've been on the lookout. Not that I would've seen this coming, but still....
The Idea-World, the part that I've been spending my time in, has people. Lots of people. I said that I was at this station for the skywalk/cablecar thing that they apparently use for transportation. Up until now, it's been just me, all alone in a quiet world. Which is good, because as I said, people means the creator of the Idea-World is near. They all just appeared around me. I turned and there was a line of them waiting to use the wooden clockwork computer. That's when I panicked.
They didn't seem to find me unusual. That fits with what things were like back in the first Idea-World. I assume that the people aren't real, that whatever engine makes the world also makes its inhabitants. I mean, how else do you explain that the whole world's basically on screensaver mode except for the part where the creator happens to be? I am a parasite, something that doesn't belong, but the world seems to just accept this. The people don't talk, either. They pantomime talking, but no sound comes out. I guess only the ones within earshot of the creator create actual audio. He or she walks in a bubble of interactivity, the world growing progressively more simplistic and barren the farther away you get from him or her.
What do the Idea-World's people look like? Well, like I said, I panicked. So I only got glimpses. But they seem to have very tan, almost orange skin. They wear light, airy clothing in pale shades. And they have horns. I think. They looked like ram's horns, but maybe that was just on some of the people. Males, maybe? Very World of Warcraft, all in all.
I'm calmer now; writing this down helps. But still buzzed, still jittery. There's something else I saw. Something I glimpsed, right before the people appeared around me. It's not something I've ever seen before, in this Idea-World or the first one. I don't want to think too much about it....the drugs are messing with me and I might go to a really bad place in my head. Can't have that now.
Need to think. I'm going to stay out of the Idea-World for a bit, stick with the boring old Real World. I need to check my hardware and plan things out. If the creator of the Idea-World is close, than I CANNOT BE FOUND OUT BY THEM. I truly believe that the first Idea-World was wiped from existence because of me. Because its creator realized I was there. And that shattered things.
Shattered. Giant black crystals over my head, coming together to form a
No. Don't. Later. Not now, later.
--Blue Was Here
I panicked. I panicked and I pulled the plug. Probably did some damage to my hardware, to the connection. But I couldn't help it. It just happened. One minute I was alone in the Idea-World, and the next...
I've been trying to calm down. Not easy, not at all. It was really bad for awhile. I took some Uppers earlier today. Normally I try to avoid that kind of level of substance. I've been getting cocky, and practicing independent movement in the different worlds wears you down. I should've been on the lookout. Not that I would've seen this coming, but still....
The Idea-World, the part that I've been spending my time in, has people. Lots of people. I said that I was at this station for the skywalk/cablecar thing that they apparently use for transportation. Up until now, it's been just me, all alone in a quiet world. Which is good, because as I said, people means the creator of the Idea-World is near. They all just appeared around me. I turned and there was a line of them waiting to use the wooden clockwork computer. That's when I panicked.
They didn't seem to find me unusual. That fits with what things were like back in the first Idea-World. I assume that the people aren't real, that whatever engine makes the world also makes its inhabitants. I mean, how else do you explain that the whole world's basically on screensaver mode except for the part where the creator happens to be? I am a parasite, something that doesn't belong, but the world seems to just accept this. The people don't talk, either. They pantomime talking, but no sound comes out. I guess only the ones within earshot of the creator create actual audio. He or she walks in a bubble of interactivity, the world growing progressively more simplistic and barren the farther away you get from him or her.
What do the Idea-World's people look like? Well, like I said, I panicked. So I only got glimpses. But they seem to have very tan, almost orange skin. They wear light, airy clothing in pale shades. And they have horns. I think. They looked like ram's horns, but maybe that was just on some of the people. Males, maybe? Very World of Warcraft, all in all.
I'm calmer now; writing this down helps. But still buzzed, still jittery. There's something else I saw. Something I glimpsed, right before the people appeared around me. It's not something I've ever seen before, in this Idea-World or the first one. I don't want to think too much about it....the drugs are messing with me and I might go to a really bad place in my head. Can't have that now.
Need to think. I'm going to stay out of the Idea-World for a bit, stick with the boring old Real World. I need to check my hardware and plan things out. If the creator of the Idea-World is close, than I CANNOT BE FOUND OUT BY THEM. I truly believe that the first Idea-World was wiped from existence because of me. Because its creator realized I was there. And that shattered things.
Shattered. Giant black crystals over my head, coming together to form a
No. Don't. Later. Not now, later.
--Blue Was Here
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Blue wants to give James Cameron a Nutshot
Oh, for the love of fuck.
Well, it seems my unknown benefactor, the person or persons who conceived of this Idea-World, has seen Avatar. I just woke up and plugged in, and....sky islands. Fucking sky islands, littering the great beyond like turds in a pristine swimming pool. I could tell something had changed as soon as I plugged in, because the Idea-World was jittering. It does that sometimes....jitters like a bad television set. This current one doesn't do it very often; the first one did it all the time. It's very weird to experience and I don't like it. It seems to indicate the Idea-World is changing. And, sure enough, sky islands.
They even look like the ones in Avatar. Not that I've seen that candy-coated piece of mediocrity with its giant naked smurf-things having ponytail sex or whatever it is they do.
"Oh, but Blue!" whines some reader somewhere. "You like computers, right? You're kind of a nerd, right? Surely you'd love such an extrrrrrravangaza of CGI prowess!"
Fuck nerds. I hate them. Fucking fat, greasy, pathetic manchildren who cling to their D&D and their MMOs because they'd prefer to cling to a made-up fantasy world, rather than face the real one. Pitiful butterballs and skinny zit-faces who tell everyone they have Asperger's so they don't have to admit they just have zero social skills. Hate them. And hate pointless spectacle movies that cater to them. Give me a STORY. Give me actors ACTING, not just prancing about in faggy wetsuits covered in Christmas lights.
Jesus, what if the creator of the Idea-World is a nerd? The place does sometimes resemble a particularly immersive MMO, or maybe a Myst game. Dammit, dammit, now Blue is worried.
Anyway. At least there are still no people. When I start to see people in the Idea-World, I know it's time to hide, because the creator of the Idea-World is close. It's like....the Idea-World can't be arsed to create people in places unoccupied by its creator, so it just makes them for like a five-mile radius around him or her. Or so I intuited from the first Idea-World. I should talk about that place sometime; it was one unique environment.
I'm a bit disgusted with the Idea-World right now, and I want to prove to myself that I'm not hopefully stuck on it like a fat thirteen-year-old to World of Warcraft. I'm gonna go watch some GOOD movies. Tarantino, bitches.
--Blue's Not Here Right Now
Well, it seems my unknown benefactor, the person or persons who conceived of this Idea-World, has seen Avatar. I just woke up and plugged in, and....sky islands. Fucking sky islands, littering the great beyond like turds in a pristine swimming pool. I could tell something had changed as soon as I plugged in, because the Idea-World was jittering. It does that sometimes....jitters like a bad television set. This current one doesn't do it very often; the first one did it all the time. It's very weird to experience and I don't like it. It seems to indicate the Idea-World is changing. And, sure enough, sky islands.
They even look like the ones in Avatar. Not that I've seen that candy-coated piece of mediocrity with its giant naked smurf-things having ponytail sex or whatever it is they do.
"Oh, but Blue!" whines some reader somewhere. "You like computers, right? You're kind of a nerd, right? Surely you'd love such an extrrrrrravangaza of CGI prowess!"
Fuck nerds. I hate them. Fucking fat, greasy, pathetic manchildren who cling to their D&D and their MMOs because they'd prefer to cling to a made-up fantasy world, rather than face the real one. Pitiful butterballs and skinny zit-faces who tell everyone they have Asperger's so they don't have to admit they just have zero social skills. Hate them. And hate pointless spectacle movies that cater to them. Give me a STORY. Give me actors ACTING, not just prancing about in faggy wetsuits covered in Christmas lights.
Jesus, what if the creator of the Idea-World is a nerd? The place does sometimes resemble a particularly immersive MMO, or maybe a Myst game. Dammit, dammit, now Blue is worried.
Anyway. At least there are still no people. When I start to see people in the Idea-World, I know it's time to hide, because the creator of the Idea-World is close. It's like....the Idea-World can't be arsed to create people in places unoccupied by its creator, so it just makes them for like a five-mile radius around him or her. Or so I intuited from the first Idea-World. I should talk about that place sometime; it was one unique environment.
I'm a bit disgusted with the Idea-World right now, and I want to prove to myself that I'm not hopefully stuck on it like a fat thirteen-year-old to World of Warcraft. I'm gonna go watch some GOOD movies. Tarantino, bitches.
--Blue's Not Here Right Now
Friday, January 29, 2010
Early Blue Period
Okay. I'm going to try to present a picture of myself that will satisfy the People Who Read This. Since I'm technically blogging in two places at once, this may have two different audiences. Or it may not; I am still unaware who, if anyone, reads this within the Idea-World. (Do you like that term, Idea-World? I think it's less confusing.) There are signs that someone does. So, who knows what they'll make of me. But here I am.
I am from the Northwest Coast of the United States, and that's where I'm living now. Washington State. My childhood was pretty boring; I was a total nerd, friend to no one but other nerds. It wasn't until college that I truly blossomed. I majored in Computer Science, and by the time I graduated, I was adept in the ways of computers, the Web. Hacking. I had also discovered mind-altering drugs.
The things I do for a living are mostly illegal. Illegal things on computers. My customers must remain anonymous, because you might actually recognize some of their names. Yeah. In a way, I was already living in two worlds before the accident; the one you see, and the virtual world. My secret, second education. My secret, second career. Well, I don't actually have a first career.
I have a legit apartment, but I tend not to use it much these days. I'm more or less holed up in this old Masonic building, emerging to replenish food and water. The temple is not used by the Masons, but it cannot be torn down as it has major historical value. Tourists take pictures of it, little realizing that I am in here, up on the top floor, surrounded by a lot of hardware and blinking lights. I have a fridge up here, a mattress. There's no running water; I shower back at the apartment. Toilet use is a problem, an unpleasant chore I must deal with. As for the electricity, the huge amounts of power and bandwidth required to run all my shit....
The Idea-World provides that. It is literally a power source. The power of an Idea. I've found ways to link my real-world computer system to the mechanical marvel of a "computer" in the Idea-World. It's all a matter of finding the right conduit. That's why what I type in this blog is also entered into the clockwork computer, and sent to....whomever.
More later. I should talk about the lightning accident. How all this incredible shit started.
-Blue Was Here
I am from the Northwest Coast of the United States, and that's where I'm living now. Washington State. My childhood was pretty boring; I was a total nerd, friend to no one but other nerds. It wasn't until college that I truly blossomed. I majored in Computer Science, and by the time I graduated, I was adept in the ways of computers, the Web. Hacking. I had also discovered mind-altering drugs.
The things I do for a living are mostly illegal. Illegal things on computers. My customers must remain anonymous, because you might actually recognize some of their names. Yeah. In a way, I was already living in two worlds before the accident; the one you see, and the virtual world. My secret, second education. My secret, second career. Well, I don't actually have a first career.
I have a legit apartment, but I tend not to use it much these days. I'm more or less holed up in this old Masonic building, emerging to replenish food and water. The temple is not used by the Masons, but it cannot be torn down as it has major historical value. Tourists take pictures of it, little realizing that I am in here, up on the top floor, surrounded by a lot of hardware and blinking lights. I have a fridge up here, a mattress. There's no running water; I shower back at the apartment. Toilet use is a problem, an unpleasant chore I must deal with. As for the electricity, the huge amounts of power and bandwidth required to run all my shit....
The Idea-World provides that. It is literally a power source. The power of an Idea. I've found ways to link my real-world computer system to the mechanical marvel of a "computer" in the Idea-World. It's all a matter of finding the right conduit. That's why what I type in this blog is also entered into the clockwork computer, and sent to....whomever.
More later. I should talk about the lightning accident. How all this incredible shit started.
-Blue Was Here
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Multitasking
I want you to do something for me. Hold both hands in front of your face, index fingers pointing forward. Now trace a triangle in the air with one finger and, at the exact same time, trace a square with the other finger. Not so easy, is it? You'll know in a moment why I had you do that.
I'm about ready to begin really exploring this Idea, and it's scary. So far, I've stayed in this cozy little skywalk station, in the room with the huge wooden-marble computer interface. I've reported what I can see from here, which is a lot. But not enough, never enough. I want to go and walk those glass cities, stand under those massive ferns. Maybe even find a way to sail out to the mountain-sized Lovecraftian things in the distance. And now you are wondering why I've not done it yet.
See, here's the thing: when I plug into the Idea, I am in two places at once. Presumably, the Idea is not real in the same way the actual, boring world is real. But they both seem equally real to Blue, and I perceive them at the same time. Two different universes superimposed....only not, because that implies some sort of retarded Hollywood special effect. Suffice to say that I am equally experiencing both at once. This makes it a challenge to act in either place, because...well, because it's like trying to trace two different shapes in the air at the same time. Brain does not like. Brain hurts. It's fine when I'm just blogging, because I'm doing the same thing in both places: sitting and banging on a keyboard. But if one Me wants to walk around while the other Me is still sitting and writing....ahhh. You see the problem.
It's just another form of multitasking. Which I am quite good at. But it's been more than a year since I was booted from the last Idea, or it ceased to exist, or whatever. It's taken me that long to connect to a new Idea, and I've gotten rusty. Existing independently in two places at once is not like riding a bike; it takes concentration, artificial stimulants, and copious drug use. And how I do love all those things.
Why go to so much trouble? God, if you could see what I'm seeing, you'd push yourself to the limit too. It's worth it. I am living and breathing another world. It is wonderful. It's the most incredible thing that can happen to a person.
I will gladly destroy my health in the real world if it means wandering the pathways of another.
--Blue was Here
I'm about ready to begin really exploring this Idea, and it's scary. So far, I've stayed in this cozy little skywalk station, in the room with the huge wooden-marble computer interface. I've reported what I can see from here, which is a lot. But not enough, never enough. I want to go and walk those glass cities, stand under those massive ferns. Maybe even find a way to sail out to the mountain-sized Lovecraftian things in the distance. And now you are wondering why I've not done it yet.
See, here's the thing: when I plug into the Idea, I am in two places at once. Presumably, the Idea is not real in the same way the actual, boring world is real. But they both seem equally real to Blue, and I perceive them at the same time. Two different universes superimposed....only not, because that implies some sort of retarded Hollywood special effect. Suffice to say that I am equally experiencing both at once. This makes it a challenge to act in either place, because...well, because it's like trying to trace two different shapes in the air at the same time. Brain does not like. Brain hurts. It's fine when I'm just blogging, because I'm doing the same thing in both places: sitting and banging on a keyboard. But if one Me wants to walk around while the other Me is still sitting and writing....ahhh. You see the problem.
It's just another form of multitasking. Which I am quite good at. But it's been more than a year since I was booted from the last Idea, or it ceased to exist, or whatever. It's taken me that long to connect to a new Idea, and I've gotten rusty. Existing independently in two places at once is not like riding a bike; it takes concentration, artificial stimulants, and copious drug use. And how I do love all those things.
Why go to so much trouble? God, if you could see what I'm seeing, you'd push yourself to the limit too. It's worth it. I am living and breathing another world. It is wonderful. It's the most incredible thing that can happen to a person.
I will gladly destroy my health in the real world if it means wandering the pathways of another.
--Blue was Here
Monday, January 25, 2010
Blue Rambles
I should mention that I am often high when writing these posts. When I am high, it does not impair my writing skills. They are not impaired. But I shall admit, it impairs the quality of what I write.
I am in love with Jeri Ryan. O Seven of Nine, Seven of Nine, please won't you assimilate me. I long for your dispassionate gaze, your dry wit. I want you, Jeri Ryan. Where have you gone? Where are you, my Jeri Ryan?
This is the sort of thing I may write. Sometimes, when truly stoned, I sound like Delirium of the Endless.
I was going to talk about getting struck by lightning and how it started this whole epic odyssey of mine. But if I tried, it would doubtlessly be rife with strange asides and stupid pop culture references. Tomorrow, hopefully. For now I shall relax within my dual existence, gazing at the lights. How they blink. Blink blink blink. That is what they do.
Did they ever explain who the other Eight of Nine were? Were they all as lovely as Jeri Ryan? O, how unrequited my love is.
--Blue Was Here
I am in love with Jeri Ryan. O Seven of Nine, Seven of Nine, please won't you assimilate me. I long for your dispassionate gaze, your dry wit. I want you, Jeri Ryan. Where have you gone? Where are you, my Jeri Ryan?
This is the sort of thing I may write. Sometimes, when truly stoned, I sound like Delirium of the Endless.
I was going to talk about getting struck by lightning and how it started this whole epic odyssey of mine. But if I tried, it would doubtlessly be rife with strange asides and stupid pop culture references. Tomorrow, hopefully. For now I shall relax within my dual existence, gazing at the lights. How they blink. Blink blink blink. That is what they do.
Did they ever explain who the other Eight of Nine were? Were they all as lovely as Jeri Ryan? O, how unrequited my love is.
--Blue Was Here
Blue Signs On
Okay. Starting up. Again.
I hope it works this time. I'm still wading through a ton of bugs. Radio Shack can't help me here. But let me tell you, watching those little red and green and blue lights blink is like water to a dying man in a desert.
Water. It's everywhere. Whoever dreamed up this idea either lives by the ocean or wants to.
I'm sorry. Am I confusing you? Maybe I'll write up a post that explains things better. But, see, the "computer" in this place isn't exactly what you'd be used to. It takes awhile to write one sentence. You know those giant marble runs you see in museums? Picture that, only made of wood (mostly) and spread out in the cracks of an entire world.
No. Not a world. An idea. Someone's idea that I am curled up inside like a parasite. Took me ages to figure that out with the first one, and then....something went wrong, some wrinkle. Woke up and discovered that my first blog, and the Idea it described, didn't exist any more. Scarier, it has never existed. I tried to find it, and believe me, I'm damn good at finding shit in the void of the internet. But it had never been there.
So, take two. I've got more hardware and a better lair. Or CHURCH, as I like to call it. Appropriate; it's a place of sanctity. Divinity. The divine aspirations of one hardware nut who found out something amazing. Plus it's in the loft of an old Masonic temple. Ironically.
Call me Blue. You will note in the profile that I give my full name as Ransom Blue. This may or may not be my true name, in whole or in part. Blue will do. I have blue on the mind lately. From the glass-walled place where I sit in that other lair, that Idea, I see mostly ocean the color of Maxfield Parish's wet dreams (spelling?). In places, these things like mile-high nautilus shells thrust from the water. If they are alive, that is awesome and pants-shittingly terrifying. In the disance, along the rail of the skywalk, are glass buildings, dark metal buildings, tree-high ferns that throw half the world into cool, purple shade.
Or so I surmise. It'll be awhile before I go there. The last Idea, when it ended badly....well, I think I got found out by the real owner. Booted. Though that doesn't explain why Blog no. 1 got wiped from existence and history.
Do I have an explanation for these Ideas? Are they VR? Hallucination? Other planets or alternate realities? Don't know, don't really care yet. Solving the mystery would lessen the....just the THE of it, if that makes sense. I do know that it started after I got struck by lightning. That's a story for another time. One I'm sick of telling. But I imagine you'll want to know, Person Who Reads This.
Need more Monster and Doritos. Also need to remind myself that Idea has a capital I in my Church.
--Blue Was Here
I hope it works this time. I'm still wading through a ton of bugs. Radio Shack can't help me here. But let me tell you, watching those little red and green and blue lights blink is like water to a dying man in a desert.
Water. It's everywhere. Whoever dreamed up this idea either lives by the ocean or wants to.
I'm sorry. Am I confusing you? Maybe I'll write up a post that explains things better. But, see, the "computer" in this place isn't exactly what you'd be used to. It takes awhile to write one sentence. You know those giant marble runs you see in museums? Picture that, only made of wood (mostly) and spread out in the cracks of an entire world.
No. Not a world. An idea. Someone's idea that I am curled up inside like a parasite. Took me ages to figure that out with the first one, and then....something went wrong, some wrinkle. Woke up and discovered that my first blog, and the Idea it described, didn't exist any more. Scarier, it has never existed. I tried to find it, and believe me, I'm damn good at finding shit in the void of the internet. But it had never been there.
So, take two. I've got more hardware and a better lair. Or CHURCH, as I like to call it. Appropriate; it's a place of sanctity. Divinity. The divine aspirations of one hardware nut who found out something amazing. Plus it's in the loft of an old Masonic temple. Ironically.
Call me Blue. You will note in the profile that I give my full name as Ransom Blue. This may or may not be my true name, in whole or in part. Blue will do. I have blue on the mind lately. From the glass-walled place where I sit in that other lair, that Idea, I see mostly ocean the color of Maxfield Parish's wet dreams (spelling?). In places, these things like mile-high nautilus shells thrust from the water. If they are alive, that is awesome and pants-shittingly terrifying. In the disance, along the rail of the skywalk, are glass buildings, dark metal buildings, tree-high ferns that throw half the world into cool, purple shade.
Or so I surmise. It'll be awhile before I go there. The last Idea, when it ended badly....well, I think I got found out by the real owner. Booted. Though that doesn't explain why Blog no. 1 got wiped from existence and history.
Do I have an explanation for these Ideas? Are they VR? Hallucination? Other planets or alternate realities? Don't know, don't really care yet. Solving the mystery would lessen the....just the THE of it, if that makes sense. I do know that it started after I got struck by lightning. That's a story for another time. One I'm sick of telling. But I imagine you'll want to know, Person Who Reads This.
Need more Monster and Doritos. Also need to remind myself that Idea has a capital I in my Church.
--Blue Was Here
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